EMDR Therapy Quarterly

Becoming an EMDR consultant: reflections after the first year.

Ever since completing my basic training and witnessing the power of EMDR firsthand with clients, I knew I wanted to become an EMDR consultant. EMDR transformed how I view trauma and it quickly became the lens through which I formulated all trauma-related difficulties. The prospect of inspiring and upskilling future generations of EMDR therapists in the use of this therapeutic power tool excited me. 

Although I had been eligible for some time, I hesitated to enter the consultant-in-training phase. Despite encouragement from my supervisor, I made my excuses. I told myself I would be ready when I’d read that book, when I’d attended that CPD, when I knew that protocol. I engaged enthusiastically with the vast ocean of EMDR literature and resources out there, although it was often accompanied by an aftertaste of self-doubt: ‘Maybe I’ll feel ready after the next CPD?’ 

I had been an accredited practitioner for five years when I completed my consultant training. I knew the standard protocol back to front, but the thought of completing a live supervision roleplay to a room full of EMDR wizards terrified me. Surely this was the moment I would finally be exposed as a fraud. Yet that wasn’t my experience. I found myself among a diverse group of clinicians, all wrestling with the same anxieties. There was no sense of competition, just a genuine desire for everyone in the group to succeed. From roleplays to presentations and group exercises, as the spotlight was on one of us, the rest all adopted the role of cheerleader, willing them on from the sidelines. Alongside us were the trainers, who from the start normalised imperfection and modelled fallibility. I was sad, albeit exhausted, when the training ended. 

I was a consultant-in-training for a total of eight months, recording supervisions I delivered in my NHS service, watching recordings back in supervision of supervision, and demonstrating all relevant competencies to my supervisor. The process felt robust. I could feel the growth happening in real time. This sense of progress was evident in my recordings and soon my application was submitted. But was I ready? I still wasn’t sure. 

In the language of parts, the part of me with the loudest voice was saying ‘you are not experienced enough, not knowledgeable enough, not credible enough’. This part of me had shown up many times before, often at points in my life when I faced new personal and professional challenges. I knew him well. He had good intentions but he was almost always wrong. 

A few months later, I received the email: ‘Many congratulations Ben, you are now an EMDR Europe accredited consultant.’ Me? An EMDR consultant?! On paper, maybe, but I didn’t feel like one. So why the imposter syndrome? Could it be the word itself: ‘consultant’? As a fellow trainee on the consultant training said, the word is culturally loaded. To me, it is a word associated with being, dare I say it, an expert? I’m certainly not one of those. Or maybe it’s the scarcity of EMDR consultants? According to ChatGPT, the number of EMDR Consultants in the UK is ‘in the low hundreds’. To put that into context, there are over 5000 consultant psychiatrists in the UK (Royal College of Psychiatrists, 2023). EMDR consultants truly are a rare breed. Did I really have the credibility to join this conclave of experts leading on EMDR pathways up and down the country? 

I embraced these feelings. They kept me grounded. After all, this was just the beginning of my consultancy journey and, with a long time to go before I could cash in on my NHS pension, I had plenty of time to find my groove. So, I rode that wave into my next supervision groups. As the months passed, I realised my confidence as a consultant was intertwined with the confidence of my supervisees. Their growing comfort in the therapy room became the foundation for my own self-belief, and this mutual growth continues to shape my journey as a consultant. It’s not about hierarchy; it’s a process underpinned by co-regulation and co-growth. 

Despite being an experienced clinical supervisor of psychotherapists, it took a while for this understanding to shift from head to heart. Of course, I am the supervisor in the room, I am there to provide guidance and answer the supervision question (as long as I don’t forget to ask for it!), but, with time, I saw supervision less from a position of authority and more as a relational process. As my supervisees found their feet, I found mine. And what a joy it was to see this play out. Facilitating therapists in seeing the magic of EMDR unfold before their eyes remains one of the most fulfilling parts of my professional journey to date. 

My EMDR supervision responsibilities have become the highlights of my week. Seeing therapists move from a state of conscious incompetence towards conscious competence has been hugely rewarding. I often reflect on the anxiety and uncertainty I felt when delivering my first processing sessions. Back then, I had no real faith in the model. I now see that same process unfolding with supervisees. We celebrate the wins, we problem-solve the obstacles and I witness their faith in the EMDR process deepen. 

So here I am, 12 months on from getting that email. Despite having a year’s experience under my belt, I now have lower, or should I say more realistic, expectations of myself. Do I have all the answers? Of course not. Do I still have a lot to learn? Absolutely. But me? An EMDR consultant?! Yes, that feels right. I now see that it was never the destination, but the start of the next chapter of learning, one where I grow alongside the clinicians I support.